Cursed Love
by ZombieCandie
Summary: Remus has kept his feelings secret for more than four years now. When the object of his affections is pronounced dead, he can't let go without confessing. AU! M/! REMUS x HARRY.


**Disclaimer****:** I do not own the Harry Potter series. I just had a little request from an old friend, and here it is. Hope you like it!

**Summary****: **Remus has kept his feelings secret for more than four years now. When the object of his affections is pronounced dead, he can't let go without confessing. AU! M/! REMUS x HARRY.

**Cursed Love**

Harry hadn't been expecting this when he went out on a routine mission for the ministry. He was twenty-two and a top class Auror, as he should be-he definitely had more experience than most of the witches and wizards the ministry had to offer, and yet he was still doing paper runs for his superiors. It wasn't fair, but he accepted it, and that was why when he went out on a simple mission to look over some documents in the department of mysteries-a strange request considering they didn't usually have Aurors do that kind of work-he didn't expect to end up like this.

The last thing he remembered was opening up a box and dropping a book with an apple etched into the old leather cover. Where the book had come from he didn't know, all he knew is that someone had placed it haphazardly on top of the box of documents he'd been sent after. When he tried to pick it up, a strange pink light glowed around the book and exploded over him, and then all there was, was darkness.

**Remus's P.O.V.**

I'd been sitting at my home when Molly fire called me, obviously distressed and told me the news. Harry had been hurt, and no one was telling her what was going on. All that she said was that Arthur had come home all upset, but he had some kind of spell on him that prevented him from telling her what was wrong, but she feared the worst. Harry's hand on the clock had moved to the 'in immediate peril' zone.

I remember being frozen in a state of shock when the ministry came forward and announced that Harry was gone. I remember seeing his picture on the front of all the newspapers and I remember tears running down my face on multiple occasions during the days leading up to his funeral. I almost didn't attend, and I'm ashamed to admit that fact, but would you want to go to the funeral of the last person you've ever loved? The thing is, I didn't love him, I _**loved**_ him. I had reached that realization four years ago, but I didn't want to drag him down. I'm a werewolf and he's the wizarding world savior, it was never meant to be.

Hermione and Ron were the ones to convince me to go. They told me that at least this time we had a body to bury. With Lily and James it had been closed casket because the killing curse permanently froze their faces with the look of pure terror, and Sirius's body had disappeared behind the veil in Harry's fifth year, with no hope of ever being found. I guess they meant to comfort me with the fact that we had Harry's body, but in reality all it did was sadden me further. All that meant to me was that I had no hope. He would never return.

It took Hermione telling me that she fully believed Harry would want me there that changed my mind. Even if he hadn't technically asked me himself, I couldn't deny what could possibly have been his last request of me.

To be honest, I'd never seen so many people grieving. There were pictures everywhere of memorial stations all around the world in Harry's name, with thousands of people lighting candles and crying their eyes out for a boy none of them even knew. Some part of me was touched, but most of me was angry. What right did they have to cry for him? They didn't know him.

I had to remind myself multiple times that he belonged to the public as well. He was their savior, their martyr, so they were allowed to mourn him just as much as me or anyone else from the Order.

The visitation was packed, and I just waited until the early hours of the morning before I walked up to his casket, made of glass to represent how pure and clear his soul had been. To me it represented the fact that even in death he'd never have the privacy I knew he craved. It was one of the reasons I loved him. He understood why I was such a loner, and his only desire was that he would be able to fade into darkness where the media was concerned and maybe even be a hermit.

I doubted he meant that literally, but looking at him now I wonder if he is happier or at peace. Kneeling beside him, I took one of his hands; they were cold and a little stiff now from the lack of blood flow, but still just as soft as I had thought they would be.

I decided I might as well go ahead and get my emotions off my chest, maybe then I could move on and live the rest of my life in peace.

"Hey Harry, I'm sorry it's been a while since we spoke. I guess I just didn't want to bother you, with you being so busy with the ministry…" I coughed. This was a little harder than I thought. "Anyway, I just had a few things I wanted to tell you, and I guess this is the only chance I'll ever have now, before, well, you know…."

"I love you, but more than you thought I did. I dreamt about you, about what the possibilities could have been for us if things had been different. If you had been an average wizard, or if I hadn't been a werewolf. I dream that you and I are married and happily so. I am ashamed of these feelings, I really am. I could only imagine how disgusted you would be if you could actually hear me. I'm sorry."

Since I'd said all I needed to say, I stood up, ready to leave when something caught my eye. His face, was smooth, with his glasses off to the side of his casket. He looked like he was sleeping, and his lips were still just as pink as I remembered. I couldn't resist this one moment. Why I did it, I don't know, and I immediately felt disgusted with myself after, but I kissed him. It was soft and chaste, and I only held it for a second, but I guess I wanted to send him off to the underworld with just a small token of my love.

I turned to leave, and almost made it out the door, when his voice stopped me.

"Remus? Where are you going?"

**Harry's P.O.V.**

I had been floating for what felt like years in a land of darkness. I didn't know much about what was going on around me, but I think now that that was because hardly anyone was around my body after they pronounced me dead. I remember screaming at them from the inside, telling the healers that I was very much alive, just trapped, and I couldn't believe they were unable to tell the difference.

I remember hearing people crying around me, what must have been only a couple of days later, but I couldn't interact with any of them. I couldn't see, I could only hear and feel what people said or did. I felt Molly Weasley hold my hand and kiss my cheek between noisy sobs, and I was both embarrassed and flattered with how strongly she felt about me. I knew I was like a child to her, but I still didn't expect this.

I remember Ginny asking me why I didn't stay with her, and I was only reminded that I was about to be buried alive without ever having been able to offer up an explanation to her or my loved ones about why she and I didn't work out. Everyone had expected us to get married, and I suppose that's why I dated her, but the thing that saddened me the most was that I was going to die and be written off without ever having been able to tell the person I was in love with how I felt.

After Ron and Hermione's blustering sobs and kisses, or in Ron's case, an awkward hand squeeze, finally the person I had waited for came along.

Some how I knew we were alone, maybe it was because it was so quiet. When he grasped my hand I felt my body heat up-or at least I thought I did, it could just be my mind playing tricks on me-and then he started talking, and his words took my breath away-figuratively of course.

"Hey Harry, I'm sorry it's been a while since we spoke. I guess I just didn't want to bother you, with you being so busy with the ministry…" I laughed a little to myself at his awkward start, glad to know that even now he was still the same Remus that I loved.

"Anyway, I just had a few things I wanted to tell you, and I guess this is the only chance I'll ever have now, before, well, you know…." Yes…I knew all too well.

"I love you, but more than you thought I did. I dreamt about you, about what the possibilities could have been for us if things had been different. If you had been an average wizard, or if I hadn't been a werewolf. I dream that you and I are married and happily so. I am ashamed of these feelings, I really am. I could only imagine how disgusted you would be if you could actually hear me. I'm sorry."

I definitely hadn't expected that, and I wanted to cry out in frustration because the man I loved, loved me, but I only found out now, when it was too late for either of us to do anything about it. I wanted to hug him and punch him for thinking that him being a werewolf had anything to do with my loving him or not, and I scoffed at his assumption that I would be disgusted. Then again no one knew of my preferences for tall, dark, and handsome-and maybe a little wolfy in appearance.

Then he did something that made my heart soar. He kissed me. I wished with all my heart that I could respond and show him that his feelings were reciprocated, but instead all I could do was lay there, still frozen by whatever that bloody book had cursed me with.

Surprising, even for me, my body started to warm up, I felt hot and like I was sweating, and then suddenly a bright flash happened inside my eye lids and I was able to open them. I could move! I sat up slowly and noticed Remus was leaving, his back towards me. He didn't know I'd woken up.

"Remus, where are you going?"

**Third Person P.O.V.**

Remus whirled around, shock and disbelief written all over his face. Harry smiled at him. "Do you really love me Remus?"

The older man turned a dark shade of red and fell to his knees and placed his face in his hands. "You heard me? How did you wake up? Am I hallucinating?" He hadn't slept very well in the last week, but this was going too far if it were a mere mirage.

Harry shook his head and pinched himself. "Ouch! I don't think so, I can feel pain so I'm pretty sure I'm real." He looked back at Remus and grinned happily. "Yes I heard you, and I must tell you, you are a real bloody idiot."

Remus looked up at Harry in shame. "I'm sorry….I'll leave if you want. I'm sure Molly and the other's would love to know you are okay as well. Though I'm sure plenty of healers will rush in here to analyze you." Harry glared at him in annoyance and attempted to climb out of that blasted casket.

"How thick are you Remmy? I'm trying to tell you that you are an idiot because-Woah!" Harry fell over sideways, and Remus hurried up to him, catching him before he hit the floor. Emerald eyes met Amber, and Harry sighed.

"Oh bloody hell."

Harry stood up on his toes and pressed his lips to a surprised Remus's, and wrapped his arms around his neck. When he pulled away he looked Remus in the eyes and smirked. "Do you get what I was trying to say now? You are an idiot because you thought that something, anything, could make me NOT love you. You have been my dream ever since I was fifteen years old and discovered I fancied blokes. Do NOT ever think that you aren't good enough for me." He smiled and hugged Remus tightly. "I love you Remus Lupin."

Remus wrapped his arms around Harry and couldn't repress his happy smile. "I love you too, but I still think we should inform the other's you are alright." Harry frowned.

"Could it possibly wait just a little while longer? I want peace for just a little longer before I am surrounded by people demanding to know what happened, when I'm not even quite sure myself."

Remus wanted to agree to that, wanting a bit of alone time with Harry himself, but he knew he couldn't. "That wouldn't be fair Harry, your friends are mourning, and could you imagine the flack you'd catch from them if you don't tell them now?"

Harry scowled. "Fiiiine." Remus smiled and kissed his lover's forehead. Regardless of how scared he was about how their friends and the press would take their relationship, he was just happy to have Harry there, and alive, and to have his feelings reciprocated after so long. He was definitely ready for the next chapter in both of their lives.

* * *

**Author's Note****:** This was a remake of my original Cursed Love, which got deleted a while back by an angry ex boyfriend -_-. Personally I like this one much better anyway, so I guess his rash actions benefited me a little. I hope you guys like this!


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